Pride Is All We Have Anymore
by notacarebear
Summary: "It's just my bloody luck that I finally catch the attention of a Potter, and it's the WRONG ONE."  Scorpius/Albus; mild Scorpius/James; Review and you're my best friend. Flame if you want. Enjoy if you can.
1. Chapter 1

It's not supposed to be like this.

I'm the smartest bloke in my year, dammit, I should be able to think of a way out of this. I can't even look at the bastard without getting this gooey smile on my face and giggling like a ruddy schoolgirl. It's disgusting. For the love of Merlin, I'm a Slytherin! I'm clever, nefarious even! I shouldn't have to deal with this.

I wonder if it might seem odd to punch him in the face without provocation? I should. He deserves it, the bloody tosser. He has to go and be all handsome and kind and so very _Potter-like_. I can't stand it.

Perhaps that's why he was sorted into Slytherin? It's not so much him that has a dastardly side, but his effect on others? I would buy that. Well, he does rather have a talent for getting himself detentions, and perhaps an even greater one for getting away with things for which the rest of us would get detention. Lucky bastard.

No. You shall not walk over here. You shan't. Stay over there! Listen to me! Fine, you're getting up, but just turn and go see your family of gingers and talk about sunblock or whatever you- No! Stop walking towards me! I am sitting in the Great Hall with a great number of utensils around which I could use to stab you. I'll do it! I will! No! Don't sit down!

"Hello, Scorpius," he says, his damn Potter charm on full blast.

"Albus," I hiss through my teeth, trying very hard not to think that he smells good... so good... I wonder if his bed smells like him? Like cinnamon and springtime... It's so- GODDAMMIT I AM A MALFOY! I don't moon over how boys ruddy _smell_.

"I feel bad about what happened in Potions," he says, keeping his voice low so only we can hear. Ruddy gentleman. "I didn't mean to show you up or anything."

Of course you did. I _slave_ over that potion for an hour, but can't quite get it. Then, bloody Potter comes along and adds a damn BEZOAR (to a CLONING potion, no less) and I think he's mental! Then the potion bubbles and fizzes and turns blue. BLUE LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO! He added one thing to it and FINISHED it. The Professor clapped for Potter like he'd just discovered a continent or something and meanwhile it was _my potion_. I'm so mad.

"It's nothing," I hiss, hoping he catches every bit of strain in my voice. Passive-agressive, I know, but I like him far too much to be able to yell at him.

"Score, you're obviously upset," he says. "How can I help?"

So. Damn. Polite.

"Keep your hands on your own blasted potion," I say quietly. I can tell by the guilt in his eyes that he hears me.

"But it was just that one thing!" Albus defends himself. "You just wouldn't figure it out! I was willing you to, but it would have taken you another hour to finish. The potion would have soured by then, and you worked so hard on it! I wanted Professor Dibbins to think it was you, but he caught me. I'm sorry."

"Why did you even notice?" I ask.

"I _always_ notice you," he says without thinking. I can tell he didn't think because regret immediately creeps into his eyes and his look says he wants to take the words back.

"You could've just told me about it," I grumbled down, examining my pumpkin juice cup as though it were gold. "No need to fuss about it."

"Score, you wouldn't have listened," he laughs. "You would have tried everything but a bezoar from the second I suggested it. You're too proud for your own good."

"I'm a Malfoy," I say. "Pride is all we have anymore."

He winces. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it." His face falls into a sad regret that could be sculpted from stone it's so beautiful. Damn him.

I sigh. "Well, you _were_ just trying to help..."

Immediately, his face springs back into a beaming smile. He doesn't regret a thing, the wanker...

Oh, he's good.

"Oh, sod off," I smile and shove him lightly.

"I love you too, Score," he teases. If only he really meant it.

"Yeah..." I say.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily Potter is, quite possibly, the cleverest person to walk through Hogwarts since Albus Dumbledore. She knows this, and yet she has no desire to apply that cleverness towards schoolwork. She could not care less about how many beetles to add to a sleeping potion or the Revolt of the Pygmies in 1287. No, what interests Lily Potter is people.

She enjoys nothing more than curling up in the Ravenclaw common room and proceeding to watch the dramas of teenaged romance or nervous third years clamoring to finish a year's worth of Charms work in one night. It's rather like watching the Muggle soap operas that her Aunt Hermione is so fond of. Lily sits back and laughs at how very easily she could solve the problems she observes, were she so inclined.

Of course, Lily would never meddle in other people's affairs. She can't have them knowing she enjoys it, or she'd never be done solving everyone's issues. She much prefers to pick and choose the stories she follows. Lily is quite proud of herself that she has never once been caught interfering in personal matters, but there is one rather frustrating story that she is finding extremely difficult to remain out of.

"Albus Severus Potter," Lily sighs to herself. "What am I going to do with you?"

Lily drums her fingernails on the library table and racks her considerable brains to think of a way to make Albus realize he's being unbelievably thick while still appearing to be a third-party outsider.

"Hmmm," Lily says to herself.

Were someone to observe Lily, they would notice her eyes twinkle with mischief as her older brother James wanders unknowingly into the library and her nefarious plot.

Lily smiles and skips over toward her brother to cash in a rather large favor he owes her.

'This is going to be fun,' she thinks.

* * *

><p>What the hell is Potter doing?<p>

I barely know James. Why is he suddenly so interested in making conversation?

"Anyway, since the both of us are Seekers, I figured we might as well practice together to give each other pointers," he smiles.

"We're on opposing teams," I deadpan.

"Oh, pish," he shrugs it off. "I've never thought much of the Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry anyway. My brother is in Slytherin after all."

"I know," I say. "He's my partner for Potions."

"Oh," James says, his smile fading a bit around the edges. "You fancy him?"

Just like that. Like he's asking about the bloody _weather_!

"I don't fancy anyone," I reply, trying to hide the furious blush on my pale skin. "Not that it's any of your business, _Potter_."

His smile brightens again. "I'll owl you about practicing together, alright?" he promises. "I have to go. Transfiguration class."

Oh. Oh _no._

"Sure," I nod. I watch him leave the Great Hall, thinking that if there is a God, he thinks he's being funny right now.

Just my rotten _luck_ that I finally manage to grab the attention of a Potter and it's the _wrong bloody one_. It's bloody hilarious.

I should transfer out of this place. It doesn't matter where. I can go to Beauxbatons for all I bloody care, as long as there is not a Potter in sight. My father won't argue with me if I tell him I want to get as far away from the Potters as I can, so long as I don't explain that my hatred for the Potters and his could not be more different.

"What did James want?"

I can tell without looking that it's Albus. I ruddy _felt_ him coming. I'm such a girl.

"He wants to practice Quidditch together," I say, disbelief poorly hidden in my voice.

"You're a liar," he laughs, taking the seat next to me. "Really, what did he want?"

I turn to look at him, and his smile fades as he realizes I'm not joking.

"You're serious," Albus finally decides.

"As a heart attack," I say.

"But _why_?" Albus asks. He's not so much asking me as he's asking himself. I try to pretend I'm not a little offended. I don't think I'm terrible company to have. I'm a rather fun person when I want to be…

"I'm not sure," I say quietly.

Albus is thinking so hard that I don't think he hears me. A thought occurs to him, and he inclines his head slightly in my direction. His eyes lock with mine for a moment, and a frown settles on his features.

"No," he decides. "I'll talk to him."

Albus shakes the thoughts from his head as though they make him uncomfortable, and he refuses to look at me anymore.

"I have to think," he says, and runs out of the Great Hall.

What the hell?

And the thought of transferring to Beauxbatons seems more appealing by the minute.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you to the lovely Xynostaph for her review of my first chapter! Anyone reading this should definitely look Xynostaph up because she's a doll and a hell of a writer. **

**Anyway, see you next time, my lovelies!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Green eyes are staring into mine like he's drinking in the sight of me. His touch is electrifying and he only wants me. I kiss him fiercely, needing to feel him and tether him to me so he never even considers leaving me again._

_My fingers tangle in his hair, trying to pull him closer. He rests his head in the crook of my neck._

_"Could you pass me the lacewing flies?"_

I wake up with a start, covered in sweat. It was a very good dream. Until…

Lacewing flies? Really? Dream Albus has strange priorities.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that all he's said to me in weeks in Potions consists of him asking me to pass him ingredients. I guess it only makes sense then. It's all I can really hear him saying anymore.

I don't know what it is I did to piss him off so thoroughly, otherwise I would have fixed it by now. I'm going mad! Albus is the only friend I have that doesn't get annoying after a while. Hell, I've had more regular conversations in the last week with James than I have with Albus! Well, if you can call the conversations I have with James 'regular.'

He's a good person, James. He's handsome, which makes up for the fact he's dumb as sand. He makes me laugh, sure. But… he's not Albus.

It's obvious that James likes me. He's come moments from asking me out on a few occasions before I deftly steer him away from the topic. I am not well versed in the art of letting people down easy. I am much more practiced at my father's strategy of quelling unwanted advances with the phrase 'Are you mad? I'm a Malfoy!' People think you're a bit batty when you say it, but at least they leave you alone. Normally, I'd ask Albus for help, but he's being a git.

As if he can hear my thoughts, he rolls over to face the wall so even in his sleep he's not facing me. Git.

"That's it," I murmur, throwing my comforter off me. I cast a few silencing charms around the other two inhabitants of the dorm and creep over to Albus's bed.

I know that he's not a morning person. Albus hates being woken. But I'm angry and I just don't bloody care.

So I take off one of my slippers and chuck it at his head. Direct hit.

I smile wickedly, and Albus fumbles about for his glasses, meaning to curse the living daylights out of whoever woke him. He finally gets the glasses settled on his face, but his anger fades when he notices me. I'm not certain if that's a good sign.

"Scorpius?" he whispers fiercely. "What the bloody hell? That hurt!"

"But it seems I've finally got your attention," I accuse bitterly.

He flinches. "Go back to bed." he whispers. "You'll wake the others."

"I put up silencing charms," I say. "There's no need for you to whisper."

He groans. "Go to bed, Scorpius."

"Not until you tell me what it is I've done to get your knickers in a twist," I demand.

"Can't we talk about this tomorrow?" he asks, faking a yawn. He plops his head back onto his pillow, but I won't have it.

I leap headlong into Albus's bed and land right on top of him. He yelps in surprise, trying to wriggle free, but I sit on him.

"No, we most certainly can_not_," I say. "We talk now."

"Scorpius, get off me!" he demands, but I dig my knees into the mattress on either side of his hips, pinning him down.

"Tell. Me. What's. Wrong."

His eyes are fiercely determined, trying to come up with a suitable lie, but I shake him out of it.

"The truth," I demand.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be," he says, turning his face away from me.

"What?"

"You have other friends, Scorpius," he reasons. "You can stand to lose one."

My heart stops beating for a good three seconds.

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" I demand, but my voice comes out more vulnerable then I'd intended.

Something about my voice reaches him, and he stops trying to wriggle free.

Albus slowly turns his face to look at me. My stomach knots when I realize he's crying.

"Please," he whispers raggedly. "James is my _brother_. I can't get in the way. I'd never forgive myself. It doesn't matter how much it sucks. I can't be selfish."

"I don't understand," I say. "Even if I was interested in James, _which I'm not_, by the way, why should it mean we can't be friends anymore?"

He makes a sound like a strangled laugh, but somehow it sounds so sad.

"I can't watch you fall for him, Score," Albus says quietly. "I just can't do it. And don't tell me you won't, because you don't know who you're dealing with. James _always_ gets what he wants. Eventually you're going to fall for him and I'm going to have to smile and pretend to be happy for you, but I'm not sure I _can_. I can't stand back and watch you leave."

"What?" I accuse. "You're worried about _that_? Albus, I'm not going to leave you! You'll always be my best mate. You'll be my best man if I'm ever crazy enough to get married. I could never just leave you."

He inhales a ragged breath. "You're so thick," he says. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"Say what?"

"You don't know how much I hate my brother for this," he snaps. "He's spoiled rotten. Mum fawns all over him because he's just like dad. He's gotten everything new since birth, and I always got his hand-me-downs. I was always okay with it because he's my older brother and I look up to him, but this is going too far. You are the _only thing_ I have ever wanted. I don't want to let him have you. It's just not fair." He sniffs loudly and quickly pulls himself up to sitting. If I weren't so shocked by his words, I would be freaked out that I'm now sitting on Albus's lap, our lips inches apart.

"But then again," he continues, "there's you. I can't get in the way of you being happy, Scorpius. I can't cause you that kind of pain just because I'm too selfish to let you go. If I don't let you go now, I never will. I'll get in your way because I can't make myself stop."

Albus moves his lips until they're centimeters from mine. "But godammit, Score, you just can't let me have my way either, can you?" he smiles bitterly. "You just don't get it. I can't be your best mate anymore. Best mates don't resent you for being beautiful. Best mates don't think about punching their own brother for talking to you. Best mates don't think about each other the way I think about you.

"I don't want to be your best man, Score," he admits quietly. "I want to be the guy you marry."

He didn't just say that. I'm dreaming. This can't be real.

"I'm so sorry," he says, his eyes closing like he can't look at me anymore. "If I knew how to turn it off, I would. I've tried. I can't stop… I-I love you."

"Aw, hell," I groan.

Albus barely gets time to open his eyes before I press my lips to his – gently, though. I don't want to freak him out.

Yeah, he isn't freaking out at all…

Albus's self control seems to snap and his arms are wrapped around me, pulling me closer even though I wasn't aware there _was_ any space between us. I feel like everything has gone hazy, maybe because I seem to have forgotten how to breathe. All that exists is Albus and warm and wet and _so very close_. His tongue sweeps into my mouth almost without me realizing it, and I kiss him back with everything I have.

He pulls away, and our lips make a loud and impossibly sexy _squelch_ as they're separated.

"Do you believe I'm not interested in James now?" I ask cheekily, trying to catch my breath. He growls possessively and digs his fingers into my back, trying to pull me closer again.

"Thank bloody heaven," he says, "because there's no way he's getting you now."

"Good," I smile.

Albus presses a kiss to my forehead. "Can we make tonight last?" he asks quietly. "I'm so afraid morning will come and I'll realize this is a dream."

"Impossible," I smile. "My dreams were never this good."

Albus kisses me softly. "Tell me this isn't just because it's dark and kissing me seemed like a good way to shut me up."

"It wasn't," I say. "But I'll have to remember just how good it is at shutting you up for future reference."

He chuckles softly. "Go to sleep, Scorp," he says.

I rest my head on his shoulder and he laughs.

"In _your_ bed," he clarifies.

"Aww," I frown. He plants one final kiss on my lips before I climb out of his bed and into my own. It takes about five minutes for me to fall into a contented sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm thinking there will be just one more chapter. I'm kind of powering through this one because I'm on break. Anyway, hope you liked it!**


	4. Chapter 4

"They're _staring_," I complain quietly. Albus doesn't look up from his abnormally full plate of breakfast.

"Doesn't matter," he says, taking a huge gulp of orange juice. "They'll get used to us eventually."

I look over at Rose Weasley, who is glaring at me as though I'm a rat carrying the plague. _Not bloody likely_, I think. Her brother Hugo is more subtle about his hatred of me. He saves showing it for bumping into me way too hard in the halls, or smacking more bludgers in my direction come game time than are strictly necessary. I get the feeling that he doesn't wish me to fall off a cliff _per se_, but if I did he'd hardly be torn up.

James was very silent upon learning that Albus and I are dating. I felt an unmistakable guilt for it when I told him - one which I immediately repressed in true Malfoy fashion. He still looks at me like a lost puppy, though. I can't help feeling like... I don't know... like I've taken away his ice cream or something.

Lily is a tricky one to judge. Albus told her about our relationship and apparently she just noddded and changed the subject. I still can't tell if she's okay with us or she's silent because she's planning a very clever way to kill me and make it look like an accident.

Why the _hell_ did I get involved with the Potter-Weasley clan in the first place? Those children could each hex a fly from thirty paces. They were raised by the most powerful and prominent wizarding families in the world, for God's sakes!

I'm going to be poisoned, aren't I? Perhaps Rose bargained with a house elf to poison my milk. It's possible... especially since her mother is the biggest supporter of House Elf Rights in the wizarding world.

I examine my milk carefully, looking for even a slight hint of discoloration or a magical signature of some kind. It does smell a little off. Maybe it's a Draught of the Living Death? Clever. That way she can blame it on the fourth years brewing them in Potions this week. Oh, she's good. Plus, if I'm in a coma it's not as if she can be sent to Azkaban for it. The antidote is simple enough. It would just give me a killer fuck off headache for a good month. It's to be torture, then...

"What the hell are you doing?" Albus asks. I flinch out of my dayreaming.

"N-Nothing..."

"You're staring at you glass like it might explode," Albus teases. "Did you recently piss of a House Elf?"

"No," I say, tilting my head down to hide the blush on my cheeks. I fix my gaze on my hands clasped in my lap.

Albus senses my discomfort. "They'll come around," he says softly.

Of course he guesses what I'm worried about... the ruddy perfect bastard...

"It's been nearly a month!" I protest. "They hate me just as much, if not more!"

"I don't know about that," Albus reassures me. "I mean, just the other day Rose asked if you were comming to Grimmauld with us over holiday."

I look up at him with scrutiny. "No, she didn't," I say.

"She did!" promises Albus. "Well... she didn't so much ask as she groaned and said 'I'm going to be sick if I have to deal with Malfoy at our house when we're on holiday.' But you have to admit, it's an improvement from her pretending that you don't exist."

"Barely," I grumble. I look down at my plate of now cold eggs and feel a wave of self-pity crash over me.

"Look at me, Scorpius," Albus gently demands. I automatically turn my eyes back to him. His face is determined and his whole body angled in my direction.

"Yes?" I ask weakly.

"I love you," whispers Albus as he rests his forehead against mine. "That isn't going to change anytime soon. It doesn't matter what they think. They're going to have to get used to you because if I can help it, you won't be going anywhere for quite a while."

I smile in spite of myself. Even as a Malfoy with an intense need to prove myself as an individual, I must admit that the thought of Albus wanting to stick with me for a while fills my stomach with butterflies.

Placing a soft kiss on his lips with no regard for his outraged family members, I whisper "I love you, too."

I'm certain that the whole great hall is staring at us, but I don't care. I'm a man in love, and no one can steal from me that Albus was the first to kiss me, hold me, love me and make me feel like maybe it's okay that my dad was a Death Eater because it doesn't change anything. Albus could care less if my father was a hippogriff. He sees only me, and not the Malfoy I have to be for everyone else. I don't just have pride now. I have Albus, and he has me.

...

"Exactly how long do I have to pretend to be heartbroken for?" James asks his conniving little sister as she stares at the couple she regards as her handiwork.

Lily shoots her brother a sharp look. "Don't be so obvious, James," she snaps. "You don't know if they can lip read."

James stares at her blankly. "What does that mean?"

Lily sighs. "Nevermind."

"Oh, okay," James nods. "But I'm running out of stuff to do to make Scorp think I'm in love with him. I can't think of anything else. I don't really like lying either. Albus glares at me all the time now."

Lily gets a wicked look in her eyes. "You have to keep it up until spring holidays," she says. "After that you can go back to pining for Teddy's girlfriend."

"That's gross! She's my cousin!" James' tone is offended, but his ears are growing red in embarassment - a trait he shared with his Uncle Ron. "I'm not _pining_ for her."

"Sure," Lily snorts. "And I'm a dementor."

James huffs and storms away from the table. Lily makes a mental note to talk to him later. For now she's observing the results of her brilliant plan.

In a few weeks, she'll tell Rose and Hugo to lighten up on Scorpius. By the summer Scorpius will be like family. Lily has thought of everything - even owling her mother to prepare her dad for Albus bringing home a Malfoy boyfriend. The best part? Neither of the boys suspect a thing.

Lily sits back and smiles.

"I'm good," she muses. "I really should be paid for this."

She entertains the thought for a brief moment before laughing it off. She takes a sip of apple juice, gathers her things, and sets out for first period History of Magic. She isn't in the class, but Hugo has his eye on a fourth year girl that is. Lily smiles and saunters away from the happy couple with a deep sense of self satisfaction.

* * *

><p><strong>And here we are at the end. I hope you enjoyed it! Love and hugs to my reviewers. <strong>

**Oh, and I don't own Harry Potter. Good thing, too. If I owned it all the characters would have been gay and there wouldn't _be_ a second generation for me to write about! Oh no!**

**See you all soon enough. Bye!**


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